A few weeks ago, I read a few brilliant blog posts on the Thought Catalog. It inspired me to do something completely out of my comfort zone and, after about 15 minutes of thinking, I made an OKCupid profile. At first, I was like…sure I’ll do this and see what was out there…and a week later, I realized why people do this. Well, perhaps why attractive and intelligent people do (it’s a huge confidence booster) and perhaps why not so attractive and intelligent people do (they can create a profile that highlights their positives, but ignores the negatives).
First, I uploaded a decent picture of me, smiling, nothing too special. After a number of uninteresting messages from people, I decided to change it to a really, really, really unattractive photo. See for yourself. At first, I captioned it something along the lines of “this is so you won’t just message me because I’m pretty”…And now it says, “bitches be like…’no makeup’.” As I don’t wear makeup. But, usually, I look a bit better than the above photo shows. I also have a relatively nice picture on there, so that the unfunny, but semi-interesting men may still find me as a “catch”. Oh wait, this isn’t plenty of fish…so that they want the internet to shoot an arrow in my ass? Yep, that’s better.
Well the first day or two I got a lot of messages just saying something like “hey, you’re pretty”…or “damn”…and a few of them were somewhat interesting. A few of them were from people I knew. Actually, within the first 5 minutes of having an active account, my ex-boyfriend messages me…
“Seriously Ames….you are WAY tooo goood for this stuff. But still cute as ever, I see. Lol”. ..and I proceeded to respond, in a friendly way, which only invited him to try to hang out with me. Okay, seriously…we broke up 3 years ago. Obviously you’re on here to meet girls you don’t know, so why would you even ask? Secondly, I am too good for you, duh. Didn’t we hash this out the multiple times you’ve attempted to make something happen again? Good luck.
Another message was from a “ImayNotSlitYourThroat” or something along those lines…okay, seriously, you may have just been attempting to be funny…but well, it is weird. And another from a “JohnJohnJohnJohn” who says something along the lines of “Hi, I’m Bob.”…okay, that is somewhat of a joke, because he is actually a really interesting person and I may consider meeting up with him in the real world.
Another one, was “date me”…and when I responded by saying “Well you like to move fast, don’t ya?”…the response was “yeah, ain’t nobody got time for that. But seriously, let’s get married”. And, honestly, I thought this was cute, told him he could be my friend on Facebook and go from there. I accepted his friend request and we haven’t interacted at all. Funny how that happens, right?
Oh, and then the best one yet comes in today! A somewhat attractive looking guy sends me a message that says, literally, “okay, you’re stupid…” and copy/pastes an answer from a question about burning the American flag. Well, since I’ve always liked assholes and people who insult me, for various reasons, I responded to him stating that I am actually patriotic, would never burn a flag, but don’t think it should be illegal, per say, as we have the right to protest. The conversation continues, and after I probably made him cry (or maybe not, he is a heartless cop who would ‘kick someone in the face’ for burning a flag), I decide that maybe, just maybe, I’ll entertain a conversation with him. He is cute. So, we will see how this goes. He just asked me what I do for a living…as I had figure out he was a cop and proceeded to ask him if I should buy a rape whistle (he recommended a gun).
Another good one, from a DJWannabeGangsterDouche (I made that up, there is a character limit on names)…who said something along the lines of “wudddd up homieeee?? LOL you seeem real cool and we should kick it” – oh yes, we should hang out! Except no, we really shouldn’t…and being a 38 year old man, you may want to consider going back for your GED so you stop lookin’ like a FOOL on the internet.
Don’t get this twisted. There have been a number of very interesting conversations on here. I’ve responded to about 20 people…and that seems like I lot, but I’ve received over 100 messages and have 150 people who have given me 4 or 5 stars. The biggest thing I’ve learned, thus far, is that normal people use online dating sites. It isn’t all weirdos, creeps, and perverts. Oh, and also, what to recommend to any of my girlfriends who need a self esteem boost!
So, since I haven’t met anyone off this site yet, I may have another update coming…if, in fact, I take these online dating relationships to the next level. I haven’t decided if that is going to happen yet. Any thoughts?
Until next time, love yourself & others, and even those ridiculous people who really like that photo of me.