We all go through phases in life that sometimes leave us questioning what is the best choice. We always have a choice. Every moment, we make a choice, whether subconscious or not, to behave in a certain way, do a certain thing, say a certain word…and how do we know that it is right? What is right? I don’t think there is a particular right answer. I think, for each of us, it is a different answer. But, I do think, that we can use some tips to get that right answer.
10. Weigh your options. Make a list of all your options, pros and cons of each, and really evaluate your list. Does one have a heavier weight because you prefer it, or because you’re told to do it? If so, make note. Make note of how each of these choices makes you feel.
9. Take your time. The biggest part of ensuring you make the right decision is giving yourself time. Don’t make a haste decision. Sleep on it. Give yourself a week. Give yourself a month. Take however long you need to ensure that you’re making the best decision that you can make.
8. Be honest. Be honest to yourself and to others. If you choice will affect others, you need to do your best to make this decision in a way that doesn’t hurt others, or yourself. If you’re quitting your job, it will affect others around you – so do so with respect and honesty. Don’t come up with some elaborate excuse. Be true to yourself and be honest with those around you.
7. Evaluate your options. If you’re choosing between two or three different things, add in a fourth one. Maybe it is something you’d never actually do, but add it to your list anyways. Remind yourself that there are worse options. Say you have the option to take a vacation and have three spots you’d LOVE to visit…but your best friends really thinks you’d love this spot, consider it anyways. It doesn’t hurt to have more than one option.
6. Accept the grey. We don’t live in a black and white world. Every action, choice, responsibility, decision, etc., etc. has a shade of grey. There will always be unknowns. What if you take a job across the country and hate where you moved to? What if you really really really love someone and want to commit to spending your life together, but you HATE their best friend? These are all shades of grey. Learn to accept them or be smothered with disappointment for the rest of your life
5. Stop wishful thinking. Are you constantly coming up with excuses for other’s behavior? Do you justify all that goes wrong, making it seem okay in your head? Wishful thinking sounds like a good thing – but it can be a HUGE sign that something isn’t right. Be honest with yourself and try to see where you may be wishful thinking instead of seeing a situation for what it is.
4. But don’t doubt the good things. Sometimes bad things happen…but often times, great things happen! Be openminded and positive towards change your change will probably be better than it would be if you were constantly doubting your actions. This takes time and practice. Allow yourself to have questions, to change your plans, to take risks, but don’t doubt your own ability. You can do anything you put your mind to…but that still doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you to do.
3. Pay attention to your inner-voice. What are all those racing thoughts trying to tell you? Sometimes it’s nothing…just fear and societal pressure. Sometimes it’s the gut telling you to wisen up and listen. You already logically assessed your position…but what does the irrational mind say? Perhaps it will bring up a different way of looking at a problem. It may not always be right, but try to tune in and get comfortable with listening to that inner-voice.
2. Try. Get out of your comfort zone. You never know what you like unless you try something different. Go rock climbing. Look silly learning to line dance. Move across the country and know that you can always go back if you have to.
1. Don’t betray yourself. If you truly, honestly, feel a certain way, accept that feeling. Our gut usually knows what is the best decision, but our mind often quiets that instinct. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is…even if you can justify it in a million and one ways. Know that you will be happy with your decision if, and only if, you don’t betray yourself to make it.
I hope you find this list helpful in guiding you to make decisions for you, and your true self. Using this advice can help you connect with your intuition, your inner-voice, your gut, whatever you want to call it. But that inner-Self is the one who should be making your decisions. Somewhere along the line we stopped thinking this way. Let’s start again.
With love & gratitude ❤ RosieHearted